2 years and going strong

It has been a few months posting anything and I apologize for the time lapse. All is well in my world! In April I hit the 2 year mark being relapse free and it sure does feel good! There was only one time since I was diagnosed with MS that I went 2 years between relapses and that was in the beginning. So, instead of continuing on the path that I was on, which seemed like my MS was progressively getting worse, I feel like it is doing better. I am still REALLY enjoying my medication that I am on and love the fact that I don't have any noticeable side effects from it. Life is great! I walked my second 5K on May 11th with some girlfriends of mine and it was so much fun! It was the Color Me Rad race that I believe donated some of it's proceeds to the Special Olympics. It was a little windy and chilly, but that is just how I like it (minus the wind). I would rather it be cold than hot because I don't do well in the heat. In fact, this 5K seemed shorter than the other one. That or I am just feeling that good that it didn't leave me weak or tired. I'll take it! :) During the race we talked about doing the Mud Run when it comes up again, but I will have to get into better shape because that one involves more than just walking. It should be fun if I sign up. We shall see. I had a really busy 33rd birthday weekend this weekend. Friday we went to a Creighton baseball game that was a lot of fun. It was military night and so there were some special events that took place because of it. We had a flyover right before the game started by some B52 bombers (I think), a tribute to family's of Nebraska or IA that were at the game who had lost loved ones in the Iraq War, and then they had all the service men or women attending the game stand so we could all recognized and give our support. A friend we went with happened to be one of those men, so it was good to cheer for him to thank him for his sacrifice he gave and is giving. The game was followed with fireworks and a singer who sang to them along with during the list of names of those who lost their lives in the Iraq War from NE and IA. It was very moving and a great thing to experience. Saturday was filled with housework, mowing the yard, homework, haircuts, graduation party, and babysitting. Sunday we had our best friends over for my birthday dinner, and Monday was my birthday which I went to lunch with a best friend, worked, did homework, laundry, and then went to lunch with my husband. Today, I am completely exhausted and realized I did a little too much this weekend. When I feel good, I do a lot and it catches up with me. But, the weekend was worth it. It was so much fun and I wouldn't change anything. I really don't like sitting around doing nothing. I would rather do things that I enjoy then take a day or two to recuperate. :) Remember to live life to the fullest and enjoy every minute you can. You never know what the next day will bring.

Keep Going

Well, I did it! I signed up for another 5K. I will be doing the Color Me Rad on May 11th and I can't tell you how excited I am. :) Again, I will be walking it with a bunch of close friends, but it will be so much fun. Doing one race has got me into this weird kind of mood. I mean that I feel like I am progressing on being more confident in doing things that I think I can't. I can do them and I am trying to give myself more credit. So, I am continuing to move forward! I love it! I do have a little story to share that impressed me a bit. The end of January marked 11 years since I have been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. I can not believe it has been that long, as I feel like it was just yesterday that I was in Georgia. Anyway, I am currently taking and English class and we are writing a summary response paper. We had to read a few little short stories and pick one to use for our paper. We have to summarize the story in a paragraph and then respond to it in 2 paragraphs with a story, or develop an argument, or contemplate the theme, etc. Here is my paper: ***Ms. Dianne Kelly writes a personal story titled “I Ran Away Many Times” where she shares her feelings on her experience finding her own measure of peace. She had to go through some tough times while growing up, but came to realize that she had nothing left to lose but everything to gain. I can relate to this story because I had to find my own measure of peace after being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. Dianne explained that when she was a kid she would run away and sit in a tree for hours. She kept running away, and her parents never knew where she was. At fourteen, her parents signed custody of her over to the court, and she went to live in a farm house with other troubled teenagers. The rules were strict which made it hard to keep running away. As part of one of her punishments, she had to sit in a chair for sixteen hours a day for one week. This was her breaking point, and she realized that having nothing left to lose is the same as having everything to gain. She found a measure of peace at that moment. At some point in our lives, we all have to find some sort of peace with experiences going on around us. Eleven years ago, I was living across the country away from family members. One Saturday morning, I woke up and found myself not being able to move the right side of my body. I woke up my roommate and had her take me to the hospital as quick as she could. I thought I was having a stroke. Twelve hours, a CT scan, a MRI, and many blood tests later they let me go home. Monday I returned to the neurologist that saw me in the emergency room. That was the day that I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. At that moment I thought my life would be awful and completely different with this new illness. I thought I wouldn’t be able to walk or run, play my favorite sports, go hiking, and every other thing that required the full use of both legs and both arms. I couldn’t stop crying and felt completely alone. A few days later, my mom came to get me and my things to move me back home. During that week it took a lot of family support and prayers to help me through it. I had to find my measure of peace. After a few weeks, I realized I had two choices I could make. I could sit and be depressed with my illness or I could fight to strengthen myself to be normal again. I found my measure of peace when I decided to fight. Finding peace should be important in everyone’s lives. The author was able to turn her life and attitude around and I was able to relate to her story from my own experience. Finding peace in any difficult decision or experience can make life worth living.*** In class, we do what is called workshop. We get in group and read each other's stories and help that person correct errors or add any additional information needed. One guy read my first paragraph, looked at me with a puzzled look on his face and said, "Really!?" He stared at me for another second, a "Huh" came out of his mouth and he continued reading my paper. At the end, both guys reading my paper had nothing to say. It really does throw people back when they find out I have MS because I don't seem to fit the part. I wasn't quite sure what to think of his reaction and in fact I was kind of embarrassed. However, I guess this is good for me because 1. I feel like I am doing good (and my husband too) at taking care of myself or 2. God is kind and merciful and is keeping me healthy enough to feel like normal but still have challenges and 3. I am just lucky, I guess. Whatever the case may be I am okay with it because I found my measure of peace so long ago.

Today was the day!!

Today was race day!! Was I able to train to be able to run a mile.....well, not exactly. Unfortunately, every time I trained on my treadmill, I would walk a mile to a mile and a half and that evening I had a migraine. It wasn't worth it to me. So, I decided to make sure I stayed as active as I could, park a little further from the doors of the grocery store, do more things with K, etc. However, by not "training" I was really nervous that I was not going to make it; that I wasn't going to finish. I had dreams of the race and I was having a little bit of anxiety about it. It was supposed to be a fun race, but this was my first race and I wasn't sure what to expect. I also did not want to appear weak and did not want to slow my friend down. Luckily she told me that she was not going to run due to her bad knee, and her other friend that was joining us had no desire to run either. I was okay with this. T was going to drop me off and go to his office to hang out for the hour in case I wasn't able to finish and in case I needed him to come get me. Yesterday at our packet pick up, my friend told me that she would drive me and we could stop whenever we needed to. She said she would take care of me and not let me overdo myself. What a friend, eh?! I wanted to finish more than anything and wanted to be able to say I did it. She kept telling me that I wasn't giving myself enough credit. She was right, I wasn't! Race day came and with all our fun accessories, I was no longer nervous and I knew I could do it! The atmosphere was AMAZING!! There were so many people. The runners brought their kids, dogs, and even handicap people came in their wheelchairs and other medical equip. to help them "run" the race. Half if not more of the runners walked the race. I was worried that I would be last...silly me! I also realized that the cooler the weather is, the better I do. Winter races may be my thing! :) When I get to hot, that is when it is harder for me and my limbs to stay strong. This race was a lot of fun and I need to stop these negative thoughts and go enjoy the fun without worrying about my health. I do need to give myself more credit! I have one life to live so why not live it being happy and doing things I want to do instead of worrying what may happen. I finished in glory and with more energy to spare! :) Merry Christmas!!

I AM GOING TO DO IT!

In January 2012, I had made myself a goal that I would run a mile. Today, November 15th, I have yet to even attempt to run a mile. I am not much of a goal person. Usually if I say that I am going to do something I do it right away instead of giving myself a year because I always put it off. Well, today is the day. :) My friend had asked me if I wanted to run in a race called The Ugly Sweater 5K. It is through downtown Omaha and everyone puts their ugliest sweater on and runs! I had helped one of my best friends put on a race a few weeks ago called The Cupcake Challenge and everyone had to eat a cupcake at each mile. I maned one of the stations and watched people race and eat a mini cupcake. It was a lot of fun and actually got me motivated to run in a race like this. All year my family members and friends ran in 5K's that were Color Me Rad, Mud Run, and all sorts of different runs that I was jealous that I didn't participate. I always said "there is no way I can do that"..."that will be too hard for me"..."what if I can't make it?"..."I don't want to be seen as weak" and all sorts of excuses. Well, no more! Why limit myself to what I can do and can't do. I at least have to try, right? I see so many examples where people's ailments don't hold them back. So, I am starting tomorrow to "train". I looked up online and am doing a "Couch to 5K" program to help me try and get the strength to walk/run 3.1 miles. 1 mile was my goal to run so if I can do that in this race that would be AWESOME. I will then walk the rest...or maybe run more than a mile. We will see. I have put my husband in worry mode but I told him not to worry. I will pace myself and not overdo myself and not try to win...but to finish. I have passed my tired weeks and am back to normal, so let's hope the energy stays with me to train. I have until Dec. 16th! Wish me luck!

Just plain old tired

These last two weeks have been a little tough. I have just been, well......tired. I think I have had to take a nap every day since my last post! And, it usually is an hour nap, but it could have been longer. I am so grateful to have a job where I still feel like I need to get things done by a certain time to keep me motivated to get up from my nap and not sleep the afternoon away. AND...K wakes me up from her naps so she keeps me from sleeping all day too. :) On the 3rd of this month, I was finishing up work and getting ready to go to school. All of the sudden my eye started to do some funny things and I started to get nervous. Then, all of the sudden, I could not see out of my right eye. If I looked at K straight in the face, I could not see the right side, I could only see one eye. I started to get more nervous! As time went on, maybe 20-30 min, my vision started to make it's way back. It is really hard to explain the feeling of when that happens. It is like my vision twinkles and I have a weird sensation. From when the whole problem began to when I got it back was only about 45 minutes. I had decided to stay home from school because I didn't feel well and didn't want to risk driving at night. T took K to his church responsibilities that night and I laid in bed and watched tv the rest of the night. When T came home, we put K to bed and I got ready for bed myself. I looked in the mirror and my right eye's pupil was dilated and my left eye was normal. It was the freakiest looking thing ever and I am sure T would agree. :) I called my neighbor since she is a nurse and asked her what she thought. She said (along with T) to sleep it off and if it is still like that in the morning to call my neurologist. So, I went to bed and prayed I would wake up in the morning. I almost thought I was having a stroke or something. Well, I woke up and everything was back to normal. I called my neurologist anyway to inform him of the occurrences and he said it was signs of a migraine. I have had the same vision phenomenon occur twice in my life that I can recall that both had a migraine follow, but I had never had the pupil dilation that occurred with it. I did not have a huge migraine that I actually was waiting to happen. Either my pain tolerance has increased due to the fact that I have headaches all the time, or I forgot about the pain since I was too scared something else was happening. Regardless, this may be the reason I have been so tired lately because of this event. This is what I am associating it too. I will take this over an exacerbation any day! But, two days ago after a nap I woke up and I felt fantastic. I actually had energy to do things! It was awesome. Yesterday was just as fantastic and I don't think I have taken a nap all weekend. So, I am back to the top from being down. All is well and I am so grateful for a wonderful husband and daughter who always just seems to know when to just let me lay on the couch!

I may have MS, but it doesn't have me!

The last 3 days I have been.....well...TIRED!! It is almost like the tired that women out there who are pregnant in their first trimester tired. Ugh! I have no energy to do ANYTHING. (PS. I am not pregnant) Now, even a normal person experiences these days of tiredness. I never know if this is a normal thing or if this is an MS thing. MS is so hard to figure out sometimes. I was talking to my sister yesterday and she is just as tired. She asked why I was tired, and I said I don't know. There has been no stress, I didn't over do myself recently, the weather has been BEAUTIFUL so I didn't get overheated...I am just tired. Monday, I had no energy but still got out of bed and did things. Tuesday was even worse. I don't think I even got out of my pajamas and I was barely able to muster up the energy to get off the couch when my daughter had to go potty. I did get a 1-2 hour nap in both days and that helped along with getting to bed early and sleeping all the way through the night. Of course, I work from home so I was able to get my 2-3 hours of work in, in increments of 40 min or so. Today I feel better and felt like I could get some stuff done. I always feel so guilty with my tired days. Before I had Kayda, I went to a National MS Society seminar and we watched this video. There was a woman on there who was laying on a couch saying whenever her son wanted to play, she said she couldn't and that she was too tired. I told myself that if I had children I wouldn't never do that and that I would play with my child. Well, I think of that woman ALL THE TIME. And when I am tired if my daughter wants to play or do something I try to suck it up and do the best I can to play whatever she is wanting to do. Yesterday, it was a "here Kayda, want to watch a movie?" day. The nice thing about that is she LOVES to watch movies! I still feel guilty about sticking her in front of the tv when I have no energy to do anything, so if there are any ideas out there for alternative forms of entertainment, I am all ears. :) I found this little quote that I posted to this blog that says "I may have MS but it doesn't have me". I am trying every day to live by that because I have a life to live, why not live it the best I can and not miss anything because of my MS.

Cleaning

Tyson and I decided to create our own little job chart. :) Cleaning the house all in one day is literally exhausting. I tried to do it in one day but it really take a lot of me. It would turn out to go two weeks in between cleaning the bathrooms, dusting, sweeping and mopping the floor. I am pretty good at vacuuming because it doesn't take long and it helps make it feel like the house is somewhat clean. Well, I saw on Pinterest to spend 15 min. a day to always have a clean house. I shared the idea with Tyson and he is totally on bored. I had made a magnetic calendar that I was going to use for meal planning, but I have had it for almost a year and didn't end up doing it. It now just sits in the corner of my kitchen and I just use it for a calendar and for birthdays. I made up some chore strips and every day there is something listed. Tyson and I are "scheduled" every other day and it is working out fabulously! We are just doing it M-F and if we miss a day doing our chores for the week, Saturday is the day to do it. :) Once Kayda gets old enough, she will get thrown into the mix with us. So Monday's are vacuuming the whole house, Tuesday is dusting and windows, Wednesday is master bathroom, Thursday is main bathroom, Friday is sweep and mop. Of course we still do the daily dishes and cleaning the counters and weekly or bi-weekly cleaning of walls (depends on how much dog goober is shaken on them) and other things we find...but this makes me feel like our family is all into this together! We are a team and it's a team effort. Thanks Tyson for being such an AWESOME husband who loves to cook and clean. :) He really does make sure I am staying healthy by helping out when I don't have the energy!