The Next 2 years

After I was diagnosed with MS a lot had changed. I felt as though my whole life changed especially my perspective and my outlook on things. It was also very hard to limit myself and try and change the way I do things. It appears that stress was the factor to my sudden exacerbation. And to this day, stress is a big, BAD thing for my body. The hard part is I stress about everything, I always have and always will. That is just my nature I guess. The nice thing about the beginning was the opportunity I had to spend time with my dad who was confined to the recliner due to having back surgery only a week or two before I came home. We were companions and I will cherish those days forever. I was a missionary for a month at home, in which I had time to recover, talk to my doctor, start my medication (which was Avonex, a weekly intramuscular injection), and decide what I was to do. I ended up staying home and not returning. Some days I regret it and some days I don't. I still find it weird to say I served a mission when my mission was from November 2001-February 2002, and February was spent at home. It was a very short mission and the questions people ask me makes it awkward sometimes. Those questions are "What area did you serve in?". I only served in one. They look confused so I have to say I came home early due to an illness...then there is a "Do I dare ask what that illness was?" look. Sometimes I share if they ask and sometimes I don't. I don't want to be pitied or be seen as weak. Call me crazy, but that is just how I feel. However, with this blog, I hope to be able to learn to be proud of what I have gone through and how well I am doing so that I don't have to have those feelings anymore. I need to stop caring what other people think and just have more hope and faith that I will continue to do well. Some other times that I cherished in that month that I was home was the weekly temple trips with my grandmother. She worked at the Mt. Timpanogus Temple and would pick me up and take me and help me through the sessions. Since I didn't have much mobility, she helped dress me and make me feel comfortable being the one who had to stay seated when everyone had to stand. The other workers in the temple where just awesome and it was always a delight going there. It kept my hopes and spirits up and it was fun to see my improvements every time I went back the next week. I also can't forget about my mother. A quote that I wrote in my journal during this time was "My mom is the best. I admire her so much! She is AMAZING. She has been such a strength to me." I love you mom and am so grateful for your constant love and support, not only during these last 10 years, but always. May 2002, I was back to "normal" and was able to purchase my 2001 Ford Escape (which I still have to this day). I started work at 1-800 Contacts and met my husband Tyson. Actually, Tyson and I didn't really start getting to know each other until July 2003 but we both started working there within a few months of each other, so we knew of each other and passed each other when we switched shifts. When we started dating, it was GREAT! In the back of my head I was worried what would happen if and when I mentioned that I have MS. When it did happen, which was our second date, I got really nervous. I remember thinking "I wish I could know what he was thinking". But, he just asked questions about it and it didn't seem like it wasn't that big of a deal. Our relationship continued and nothing seemed to have changed since that conversation. In fact it got better. We were married that December 2003. I can't remember if he told me before or after we were married that his friend told him to not marry me because of my MS, that it was too much to handle/too much baggage. It didn't stop him, and I am glad he didn't let it bother him. He has been my biggest supporter and caretaker. He is always worried about my health and makes sure that I stay healthy and strong and does everything he can to help make that happen. I am so lucky to have a husband like that. I went two years until my next relapse, which happened to be almost exactly 2 years from the first. That was when Tyson got to see what it was all about. It wasn't as big as the first one...in fact to this day I haven't had anything as bad as the first relapse. Like the first time, I was put on solumedrol IV for 3-4 days along with Prednisone. I hate that stuff. But, it works and helps me get back to my normal self. I hate it when it happens because I can't do anything. I feel I am a pretty independent person, so when I can't do the dishes, vacuum, bathing myself, doing my hair and makeup, it puts me in a downer and it is a real patience tester. Luckily, I have had Tyson, family, friends from church step in to help in anyway they can.